And that title is so fitting for many reasons. Running is what I have been doing since I got off the Plane in March from a LOVELY trip to Mexico. (I will have more to say on said trip later) Running into brick walls with my kids, running to NY to help with my dad as he courageously fights the demon C word, running in circles to keep my job a float, running back and forth from appointment to appointment to keep my health in check. From ALL the running – you’d thing I’d be one skinny chickie. Sadly, I have gained weight – like 12 lbs! : ( SO not happy with that. I am ‘running’ out of patience with the weight battle! I do humble myself to the fact that aging, medicines, stress, life, and a multitude of things outside of my control have a direct impact on this – but it feels no better to manage. On the positive – My husband Loves me, as I am. And tells me this very often. : ) Today, I need that. and Today he told me just how much he loves me : ) …….. I am blessed : ) So I am running towards him FOR sure!
I have been blog-distant for many factors, 1 of which is my lack of memory to remember my frikin password to log on! Can you believe it! I’m telling ya, If my head wasn’t attached, I would certainly leave home without it! (That visual is pretty scary!)
Any-who-howsits ….. bottom line, Since leaving the tranquil, warm, relaxing, comforting beaches of Playa Del Carmen – life has been a marathon of trial, error, emotion, testament, perseverance and love. As for the kids. 1 has graduated from a drug court program; gained her GED, and driving permit. YE-AH you say. well me too – until yesterday when she was found, completely 10000% drunk at 4am in a car on the side of the road……. screaming she is pregnant. (no confirmation on the pregnancy BTW) …… next kid – decided she couldn’t live with rules, like a curfew, and picking up her room. So one day, while I was at work – moved all her things out. And has been estranged to say the least. I had to take her car back (insured/titled by me) because for some reason she refused to take it and title it in her name, as well as insure it in her name. It wasn’t money – as her dad paid for the insurance. it was pure lack of urgency, and a focus on things like partying. Cause when I took the car back – the crap I found in it – OMG! I was beyond heartbroken. This is a kid who was starting her college life in the right direction. good grades, a focus, a job…… 2nd semester comes, she’s out later and later – and then i get the failing grades…… of course after she moved out. Maybe that is partly why she bolted – fear of the confrontation. or not. I don’t think she cares right now. She also dropped her summer class. on the positive for this kid – just yesterday – we finally got the car in her name, and all transferred over – ….. after I picked it up – i filled the tank ….. she has it. The boy kid in the mix – well, he has been influenced by said sister – and has been caught 2 times, not where he said he was. and this included areas of drinking that is may or may not have participated in. either way – that got him grounded from his car for a bit. He has recently been given some liberty’s back – such as driving to school. but we are talking about him going to be with his dad for the summer. This has now turned into a ‘if i go for the summer im going for my senior year’ conversation…… too emotional of a topic for me…… I let one son go in 2001 – and I was very prayerful id never have to do it again….. we are still talking……. but now that his dad is aware of the sister issues, and my desire to have my son supervised a little more this summer …… the ‘Senior Year’ card is being played …… My heart bleeds at this thought. and will always if indeed this is the end answer. but – truly my end position is to do what is best for my son. He needs to keep his head out of his butt. And Between my work hours, and my anticipated time helping my sick parent – I simply wont be there as much for him …… which brings me to the other ‘running’ topic of the past 2 months – my parents. My dad gave us quite a scare in April. A mass was found on his liver. I spent 8 days in NY – at the cancer hospital, day in and out with him. the mass was not malignant. while my dad fought this terrible sickness in his body – my mom was not doing that great either. I got a taste of life with 1 parent gone. not pretty. Though I can’t focus on that. and I’d prefer if she didn’t. the reality is – she can’t keep that house if my dad isn’t around to do things. Simple things – like get the mail, take out the garbage. It’s just his thing to do.
All in all – I’ll take the sands of Mexico in a heartbeat …….. but eventually no matter where I run, I come back home. and no skinnier!
